14 hours ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
Pretend what you wish, but there are always strings attached. Whether they are spider silk or carbon nano-tubes depends on your choices, but invisible doesn’t mean nonexistent.
1 day ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
I have always known how our story ends. That is of no interest to me. I’m here for the plot twists.
2 days ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
Love, if that is what you’re truly interested in, may be beyond words, but a well maintained and functional relationship of any sort never is. Bear that in mind as you move forward.
3 days ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
Everything comes with conditions. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying - either to you, or to themselves. Can you tell the difference?
4 days ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
Excellent hospitality will always be appreciated and well rewarded. Thank you for being both thoughtful, and charming - but I will always bring my own body products. If you’re nice, I’ll share.
5 days ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
I spent my formative years reading erotic fiction aloud in busy restaurants. Why did you think I would lower my voice so the people you were so hoping would notice the fact that we were together wouldn’t hear my response to the intimate details you shared in a somewhat inappropriate space? I’ve said it before - know your audience.
6 days ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
You cannot ask for, buy, command, or inspire love. Like chemistry, it either is, or isn’t. The sooner you learn to recognize it, the sooner you can capitalize. You’re welcome.
1 week ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
Congratulations. You just emptied a bucked of ice water over your head and lived to tell the tale. But will you remember to make a donation to ALS associated charities next year when there isn’t a viral, socially shaming fundraising campaign? I’m pretty certain you’ll have jumped on whatever the shiny band-wagon of the moment is, because despite making the donation, you don’t know what the letters in ALS stand for.
1 week ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
Here’s the thing: I’m not funny. You laugh because it’s a way to deal with discomfort, not because I’m amusing. I just thought you should know.
1 week ago
Dear T.O. Boys,
There is always opportunity cost to consider. The quicker you master the calculation, the less surprised you will be.

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