Dear T.O. Boys, There’s a 95% chance I enjoyed spending time with your cat more than I did with you. It’s quite possible that is why I’m returning. It may be profitable for you to figure out what characteristics the cat has, that you’re missing, and attempt to cultivate them.
Dear T.O. Boys, I have no issue telling you about all the other people I happen to be seeing. I will not, however share details that would compromise their anonymity anymore than I would share details about you when the situations are reversed. Please try and respect that.
Dear T.O. Boys, I can tell when you’re faking, even if you have no idea when I am. Just so you know.
Dear T.O. Boys, Here’s a novel idea. Apply all those good client relationship management principles to your personal relationships. You’d be astounded by the difference in results. You can thank me later, in shoes.
Dear T.O. Boys, While it’s flattering that you think my approach to dating is amazing, please don’t introduce me to future women that you date and ask me to train them. That’s awkward for everyone.
Dear T.O. Boys, While I’m sure your girlfriend is a charming, sophisticated woman, I am not interested in meeting her, or engaging with her in any physical way whatsoever. You should also know, that if I do meet her, I will probably like her more than you, and keep her as a friend. Be careful what you wish for.
Dear T.O. Boys, Here’s the deal: I won’t jerk you around if you don’t jerk me around. Life’s short and both our time is worth money. Let’s respect that, shall we?
Dear T.O. Boys, Where I get my bruises isn’t any of your business. Really. Stop asking. Its invasive and off putting.
Dear T.O. Boys, I cannot tell you how unspeakably generous it is of you to offer to support my search for a new way to pay my bills by connecting me with opportunities and providing references. While I’m not sure what aspects of my character you’d highlight for future employers, the gesture is kind and very appreciated.
Dear T.O. Boys, Yes, I’m the sort of girl nerd who read the Game of Thrones before it was cool. Thanks for appreciating that side of me, as much as the other more compelling ones.
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